Opinion & Commentary

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Different personalities: Does it also get in your way?

Discover different personalities and Discover different personalities and their impact on your life. Explore the Johari Window model. Are you being true to yourself in all circumstances?
Antonius "Ton" Bakker, born May 23, 1961, in the Netherlands, is a writer, speaker, and coach/trainer. With a passion for personal development, he has inspired audiences worldwide.
Antonius Bakker

What are the different personalities and what it means to you and who are you. And especially who do you want to be in the eyes of the people you meet in your daily life? Are you able to get your message across to them reasonably well, or does it sometimes take some effort? According to yourself, you come across as credible enough, so that everything you want to tell gets to them. And that they can continue their turn on this? Do they often come back with questions, or do these people immediately start working on the message you have given?

Discover different personalities and Discover different personalities and their impact on your life. Explore the Johari Window model. Are you being true to yourself in all circumstances?
Discover different personalities and Discover different personalities and their impact on your life. Explore the Johari Window model. Are you being true to yourself in all circumstances? Image:Canva.com

In different personalities, are you giving yourself enough space?

You may not always realize it in time, but we humans can sometimes get caught up in our sometimes difficult to distinguish lives, part of which is not even clear to ourselves. In my opinion, a useful tool to take a good look at this is the Johari Window, often referred to as the Johari Window, this is a model created by Josip Luft and Harry Ingham from 1955. The name "Johari" is derived from both of their names: Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham. I have posted an example of this model below.   

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In general, we are aware of three of the areas visible at the top of the model. But there is also a plane: "The Unknown" which is not known to anyone, not even to us. This is also the reason why it is good to ask others for feedback from time to time.

Is it important to respond with the right behavior?

In general, it is often discussed that the following situations can be distinguished in which our behavior in any form can be of great importance. Private, Public and our so-called "secret life." The secret life is what we sometimes struggle with. Our absurd or sometimes even reprehensible behavior in the eyes of others that we do not want or dare to show to anyone, certainly not to those who can play, or are already playing, an important role in or for our lives. It's those things we'd rather not show to others. "Things that are not suitable for other people's eyes."

With children, we often say, or think, "This is not yet suitable for your immature eyes." You can think of many things, close your eyes and a few things will probably come up in your memory. Things that you did as a young person, for example, that you managed to keep forbidden to everyone, and especially your parents. And I'm sure there will be those things in your present life as well. Maybe you're in a relationship that you want to keep hidden, or maybe you sometimes tend to drink too much when you're home alone, or maybe you regularly visit "abnormal" places in the eyes of our "normal" community, it's all possible. Imagine if your day-to-day environment and relationships knew this secret side of you?

Do you also often worry?

Worry how long you can keep your secret side a secret from all those people on the "other" side of your life? What antics do you have to do daily to prevent your "secret life" from being exposed? Do you always look around you at business or family gatherings to see if you see personalities from one of your other lives? And if you see such a person, would this person greet you as he or she always does, or would this person keep their distance and only approach you when it is a "safe" moment?

If this person does approach you and addresses you immediately as he or she is always used to with you, would you correct this immediately, or push this person away from you with the cry: "who are you, what are you doing now, I don't know you at all!" Or do you throw off your mask at that moment and say: "Oh, how nice that I meet you here, shall I introduce you to my life partner and other friends present, and then shall we drink ourselves drunk just like last night, and then have sex in that fantastic club down the road?" 

Would you be willing or able to bear the consequences of the last behavior I mentioned?

Being yourself in all circumstances is a choice.

Often, people in their lives choose to do your things that they are not fully equipped to do. The gifts they have received at birth are not or just not enough to be able to make the choices they would like to make. As a result, these people are almost constantly on their toes, so that when they can escape these situations for a while, they choose the relaxation of the "dark" side. Cheating, gambling, drinking, you name it. What these people often don't realize enough is the fact that they often don't make it in the desired situation and lose even more in the chosen "other side."

These people would be much happier if they tried to stay within their own means, sometimes with a daring risk. Mind you, I'm not saying you should never jump out of the band, or do something crazy, because I do that too. But think about the possible consequences for you and your loved ones beforehand. Children are too often the victims of overactive parents who think they must do more for these children than they have to offer. I know from a very reliable source that these children would much rather have happy parents without stress and unnecessary worries, at least they stay with them and with each other.

Antonius "Ton" Bakker, born May 23, 1961, in the Netherlands, is a writer, speaker, and coach/trainer. With a passion for personal development, he has inspired audiences worldwide.

Antonius Bakker

Antonius "Ton" Bakker, born May 23, 1961, in the Netherlands, is a writer, speaker, and coach/trainer. With a passion for personal development, he has inspired audiences worldwide.
View all posts by Antonius Bakker

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